20th October, 2010
You know those days when you should have just NOT got out of bed?
Had one of those last week. The day had been bad, no one at work made me smile. Had a staff meeting at the end of the day that felt rather bumpy. As the meeting went on I realised my cellphone was not with me and I needed to text the teenager and tell her where to get off the bus. The meeting went on.........
Eventually, I escaped only to find my phone was sitting in the sun with a scary message that said 'TOO HOT!!' Had to cool it before I could use it. Text ( in perfect English, as is my habit) " I will meet you at the Bakery". "ohk" was the reply.
Got into my car and drove and as you can when driving, zoned out. Completely!
Was just short of Mum and Dads place when I realised I HAD FORGOTTEN TO COLLECT ALEX!!!!"
I dropped a 180 that would have impressed a boy racer and sped back to the meeting point, conjuring excuses for arriving from the wrong direction and being very late. When I arrived she was no where to be seen. I phoned.
"Where are you?"
"At the Bakery!"
"So am I. I can't see you....."
"Mum! I saw you drive right past!"
Bugger! no point in the excuses!
"Well....... I'm here now.....??????"
She threw her bag in the backseat and hopped in the front. Too angry, it would seem to go with the usual opening of "I'm hungry, got any food?"
"Mum, you left me there, you drove right past. I could have been raped by a homeless person"
I had no reply....... it didn't matter.
"A homeless person with AIDS, Mum"
"Well" I said, faking cheerfulness I didn't feel "it is likely if they are homeless they won't be healthy enough to actually be able to rape you"
"Oh great" came the immediate reply "you left me there, on the side of the road, in South Auckland, to be raped by a homeless person. With AIDS. Who can't get an erection! Great Mum! You drove right past me!"
It was a no win. I still cringe when I hear her mention things like 'erections' and I was snookered. Best to shut up and take what was inevitably coming my way. No real need for further explanation.
