Holiday Visiting

First day back at school has been great.  Everyone seemed happy to settle back to normal and in my travels, I visited a Year One classroom.

The kids were all sitting in a circle and after the usual chat and happy talk, I noticed that one kid had had a pretty fancy haircut, we discussed it and I made a fairly casual comment about doing something so exciting in the holidays.

Next thing, every hand in the room was up...

"I went to the beach"
"I went to the movies and saw Madagasca"
"I went to the park"
"I went to my aunties"

And so it went round the room until one of the of the little girls reported

"I went to the Taliban Factory" !!!!!!!!

I glanced at the teacher and muttered "did she say Taliban factory??" 
She was uncertain and shrugged. 
She mouthed, "I think so"

"right, moving straight along to the next kid....... what did you do in the holidays?"

So, Taliban factory?  In South Auckland?  Backpacks manufactured with......????  Movies that skite about conquests in the desert???  Osama badges or t-shirts???

I can only hope she meant Tiptop Factory........? I have tried to roll it off my tongue in 50 different ways and I can come up with nothing else....

My Son Ben.- Argentina

When we were at the All Blacks training earlier in the week at the beautiful private school, I kind of adopted Ben Smith.

Toward the end of the session a whole heap of the school kids had come out and were sitting around where we were standing and they were chatting away.  We were not saying much because it was so freaken cold and our jaws were in lockdown.

Anyway, amongst the chatter from the children were a group of boys who kept looking up at Ian and I.  After some time and much nudging one of the boys asked "are you familiar with the All Blacks?" (think Gloria from Modern Family accent with less English)

Me!  Familiar with the All Blacks?  What do you want to know??  "yes" I replied "I am familiar with the All Blacks"

See, even he looks confused??!!??

Much excitement and nudging and pointing.  Whispers up and down the line and slowly it dawned on me, they didn't mean 'familiar' they meant 'family'.   More nudging and finally one of the kids asked me 'who is your son?'  I am lucky I had had a whole 15 seconds to figure out what was going on, so I had had time to eliminate as a potential son anyone too old, anyone too ugly, anyone too crass, anyone playing badly.

"Ben Smith" I answered.
"Conrad Smith" the kid crowed! "Conrad Smith"
"No! Ben Smith"


"Which one is your son" so I pointed out Ben Smith, posed for photos, signed autographs.
No, I really just pointed him out while Ian moved ever so slightly further away from me and as luck would have it, the bell went and my untruthfulness lies buried in the heart of Buenos Aires.

The All Blacks vs Los Pumas in Argentina

We met in the lobby to travel to the game and it was not hard to see which team we supported.  Everyone was kitted out in black with scarves, flags, face paint, the whole bit!  We loaded up into the 3 buses and headed out.  The flags were in the windows of the buses and as we got onto the motorway we were greeted by a variety of reactions- of course thumbs up, thumbs down, with associated tooting of horns (maybe horns have only just been allowed back??) we got a few middle fingers and waves (did I mention horns) but my personal favourite was the person who ripped off his shirt with the colours of Argentina on it, stuffed it out his skylight and proceeded to beat his chest and toot his horn as he passed the 3 buses, only then to drop back at the toll bridge and repeat the whole thing again.

We were taken to a venue at La Plata, which was about an hour away and had lovely wine and food and a few hours slipped by as we prepared for the match.  We were taken through some chants and had a bit of a practice at those and in the enclosed room, the 300 of us sounded pretty sharp.

I was later to find out that is a drop in the bucket compared to a 55000 strong rugby crowd.

As time approached to leave the venue, I decided that the black balloons decorating the walls needed to be liberated and taken to the match.    Then in my infinite wisdom, I decided to free one of the bamboo stakes from the planter boxes and put my balloons atop the stake.  Had I had 0 glasses of wine, I would have made EXACTLY the same decision.

A Puma support much closer than I am comfortable with.....

Had four balloons, was down to three within about 15 seconds.  BUT being the McGyver that I am, I wrapped the popped balloon around the very sharp stake and hey presto!  Once back inside the bus with my rather large totem to New Zealand Rubgy, I tied the flag cape that Kate had bought for our synchronized swimming team to the bamboo stake and I was ready!

This is when I noticed the cops.

As luck would have it, they were more interested in providing a police escort for the buses to get safely to the game.  I began to wonder the wisdom of making myself SO fiercely New Zealand if our bus needed a police escort!

The New Zealand buses all parked together and we got out and made our way into the venue.  I needn't have worried as the crowd are so impressed by the All Blacks that we got treated like royalty just for being dressed in black.

I am unable to describe the stadium and the way the crowd gets into the game.  We are so boring when we watch sport as New Zealanders.  We sit and clap when something happens and then give a cheer and a shout when we score.  Not so the Puma fans.  The place was alive and loud and I could not imagine more enthusiasm for the Gladiators of old.  Our cheer was truly pathetic and our noise drowned out- thank God we won!!!


At the end of the game, their fans moved in on the New Zealand crowd and worked at swapping everything they could for All Blacks stuff.  I gave my stolen bamboo stake with no balloons left and a $6 flag cap to a kid along with a black, silverfern cap and he looked like he just had 10 Christmas's. 

It was VERY cool and if you get a chance to watch a rugby game in Argentina, grab it with both hands.

The Coalition for Larger Shoes. (Buenos Aires)

The photos didn't come out but during an evening, about 6.30, from our 16th floor hotel room we could hear random drums and toots.  Expecting another protest march (as we saw so many) I raced over to the window.  What I saw confused me, not only were there only about 6 people making all that noise but 2 of them were carrying what looked like a giant, papier mache shoe.  It was painted, mostly red and they held it above their heads, while the other marchers tooted cone horns and beat drums and chanted.

I madly took photos as the group left the sidewalk and moved onto the road.  At this stage the lights further up were red so they had a free run.  That soon changed and although the drivers in Buenos Aires don't sit at the lights, revving engines and giving each other 'want a drag??' faces, once the lights turn red, it is like the start of a Mercer drag strip race- even the buses!  As soon as the cars started to move, they also started to hit the horn, then as if it is a competition to see who has the loudest horn, everyone else further back hits the horn.

Not only do they add to the noise being made by the Coalition for Larger Shoes but they also drive them off the road (perhaps from fear of damaging the only shoe that would fit????) and up onto the footpath.   Next thing, a van screeches to a halt in the lane closest to the Coalition and the backdoor flies open.  All the cars and buses behind are stopped and are forced to toot again as they try to move around the van, the Coalition members stuff their shoe into the back and leap in.  Doors slam and they join the traffic........ gone!

The protest lasted all of 3 minutes.  I am hoping the Coalition is successful so that when I go back next time they won't look at my size 42 feet and through the embarrassed and awe struck faces murmur "we only go to size 40!!!"