We left Hanoi yesterday and arrived around 11 at Ha Long Bay, where the boat met us to take us out to the islands. We are the only people on this boat and we have a fully attentive staff of 5 or 6 (yet to be determined. There is some debate). The meals have been absolutely over the top fantastic, with all being 4 courses! We are unable to even put a dint in what is put in front of us, but we do our best.
Once we got to our first stop, about 2 hours in, the first option for activities was kayaking, so the three of us did a bit of eye rolling and discussing that maybe we didn’t really want to kayak. I clearly and not the mastermind of this group, because when we arrived at the kayaking spot, I was up on the deck, suffering in case FOMO kicked in and the other two were ‘sleeping’ in their room. Nice for some. So, I had to take one for the team! I said I would do it and I am not going to explore the fact that I am the oldest and probably the least fit, but they hung me out to dry due to their need for zzzz’s.
I am going to do my best to describe this to you, because it is worth the imagery. Tucked into this very sheltered bay, with high cliffs all around was a floating platform covered in about 80 kayaks. In the centre was a bit of a roof, with a whacked together table arrangement and bench seats. Behind the table was a hammock, with a guy asleep in it, who did not wake or even move the whole time I was there, so I am only assuming he was alive. Above the table was an attic type deck and a ladder and that was where they slept. Open walls around the whole thing and there was stuff everywhere! They only leave the place about every two weeks to stock up on supplies, so I am guessing hanging on to things is quite essential.
Anyway, the guy who ties up the ropes on our boat and the guy who drives the boat helped me off and took me over to the table. The owner of the kayaking place, who we shall call Three Teeth, invited me to sit down and then waved a cup of tea, about the size of an egg cup in front of me. I nodded, because I am nothing if not polite and was delivered this little cup and a top up from the tea pot. It tasted like Manuka wood with a bit of lemon, so I had a sip and pretended to like it. Minutes of Vietnamese conversation later, he offered me a top up, to which I said no and Three Teeth looked at me like I was mad. The driver decided I was missing out, so offered me a smoke, of which I declined. Three Teeth took the moment to take my egg cup Manuka Tea and threw the contents of it off the deck. He then swished it out with hot water and threw that off the deck. Then being a paragon of cleanliness, he used his finger to wipe out the inside of the little cup, before filling it with tea and passing it back to me. So lucky.
Another top up and two cigarette offers later, I decided I had had enough of sitting, not being part of a conversation they clearly knew I could not understand, so I made a ‘can I swim’ gesture and they all nodded and pointed around the side. I went around thinking I was going to get in because it was humid as Hades, only to discover that although I could get in, I could not see any way of getting back on to the platform and the last thing I wanted was to fuel Three Teeth’s war stories by having to get them to push and pull me out of the water. So I put my feet in and waited to see what would happen. Our guide, who I can call Hero, because that is his name, eventually came and got me into a kayak (life vest-less) and off I went. Once that was done, or more accurately 15 minutes later when I was losing the will to live, I came back and pulled up alongside. I still had the image of pushing and pulling me out of the water to contend with, so I simply rolled off the side of the kayak and onto the deck and was standing, albeit covered in sand, grit, dirt all down one side, by the time they came to see if I wanted to get out. I hope they don’t have cameras. It was not dignified, coordinated or athletic! Three things I clearly usually am.
I took one for the team and I made it home alive. Now they owe me!
On to the next adventure!
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